Short jokes
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.