Short jokes
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3