Short jokes
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Gun control...
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
Sun.
Screw anima!
Oh wait, that's called hentai.
Like if you love God and Jesus.
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"