Short jokes
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
Medusa makes men hard.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.