Short jokes
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?
Gasar.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
No scope, bitch!