Short jokes
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
What ended in 1999? 1998.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!