Short jokes
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.