Short jokes
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂