Short jokes
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.