Short jokes
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.