Short jokes
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.