Short jokes
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.