How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Short Jokes
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Touch Down.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
They found out that Michael Jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hee-hee.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
