Short jokes
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Marleigh is so fat and ugly.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.