Short jokes
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
It's not Minecraft.
It's Ourcraft!
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Marleigh is so fat and ugly.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?