Short jokes
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
My dog died. I'm so sad.
Marleigh is so fat and ugly.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.