Short jokes
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
To anyone suffering from low self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.