Short jokes
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.