Short jokes
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.
What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄