Short jokes
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??