Short jokes

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

I'm always hanging in there.

Hanging on the wall.

One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

Why do orphans look so ugly?

Because they have a face not even a mother could love.

Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

Hehe.

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.

I just left him hanging.

What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?

Nothing, they both crashed.

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.