Short jokes
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
Clap em sis!