Short jokes
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Wow, these jokes are lit.
Some might say even killer!
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Make like your hairline and scram!
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.