Short jokes
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Who was in Paris?
I dunno, the title was censored.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."