Short jokes
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
What's the opposite of Jason?
Jasister.
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.