Short jokes

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?

sue the dating site for matching her with him.

Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.

My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

What did the orphan say to the barber?

I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.

Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.

Relationships are like fat people.

Most of them don’t work out.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.

Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.