Short jokes
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.