Short jokes
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
I poo 11 times a day.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
Violence against women is funny :)
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
"Rosex, why you search that?" Does it mean "Roblox sex?" Kid, stop!
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.