Short jokes
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!
A girl has small balls.
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
Messi is really messy.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."
Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.