Short jokes
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Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
My name is Giselle.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.