Short jokes
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).