Short jokes
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.