Short jokes
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Yo mama!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?
Arsenal can win trophies and win games.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"