Short jokes
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁