Short jokes
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.