Short jokes
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
The cat said hi.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.