Short jokes
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
I'm so gay I could barely think straight.
Why did the cow smell?
'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
you.
What do you call Link when he is hurt?
A link to the cast.
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!