Short jokes
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.