Short jokes
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...