What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
