Short jokes
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? (comment below)
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
What has a head and tail but no legs?
A penny.
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
Robert Ryall
Jak
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
Hurricane Irma, it blows.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"