Short jokes
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
fff.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!