Short jokes
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
Potato.
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Robetoe.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.