Short jokes
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
fff.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".