Short jokes
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
Jacob has a small penis.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Geology rocks!
pussi
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.