Short jokes
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
My son.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Yo mama so fat, she got more rolls than the sand dunes.