Short jokes
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.
Hi, Charlie, is your friend?
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
Roses are red, Justin Bieber is gay, But most importantly, You know de way.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
Muslim furries like goats.
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.