Short jokes
9/11.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
I saw Simba walking slowly.
I told him "Mufasa!"
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
No, you!
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Tilted Towers is gone.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.