Short jokes
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
Robert Ryall
Jak
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
Hurricane Irma, it blows.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?
Drugs.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.