Short jokes
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.