Short jokes
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
There are more than two genders.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Add me on Snapchat for streaks: Loganlytton.
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What's the fastest cake? Scone!
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...