Short jokes

I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

He asked for a shot of beer?

He got shot and killed.

I went to a seafood shop.

I pulled a muscle.

How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

I have 25 friends in the alphabet.

But I don't know why.

How to make a baby make funny faces?

Put it feet first in a blender.

How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?

A blender.

How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.

My son.

Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.

Yo mama so fat, she got more rolls than the sand dunes.

The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4

Life is like giving head... it always sucks.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

What objects have the most gravitational force?

A Lambo and a gold digger.

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.