Short jokes
Yo mama's so poor, I knocked on the front door of her house and realized I was already outside in her backyard!
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!