Short jokes
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."
Get it? I read? No... ok.
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Gun control...
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
You are the joke.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.