Short jokes
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
Yo mama's so poor, I knocked on the front door of her house and realized I was already outside in her backyard!
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.