Short jokes

What do stomata use to fill their pools?

Chlor-ine.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?

Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Why do emos cut themselves?

To play noughts and crosses.

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.

Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!

My friends: Hi to my little friend!

Kasper has a tiny penis.

A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL

Hello.

Josh

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

What's worse than funny condom fails?

Jake Paul.

Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.

Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

Deja Vu.