Short jokes
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Do you want a book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down!
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
Why did Greg go mad? Because Stephen stalked him.
Why is the sun mad at the clouds?
The clouds keep throwing shade.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."