Short jokes
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?
Beefthoven!
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How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Religion... That is all.
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.