Short jokes
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
Laugh.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?
Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
Kasper has a tiny penis.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."