Short jokes
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
Heil Kyle!
Boggy
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.