Short jokes

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

9/11

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.

I'm dead! 😂💀💀

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.

Batman vs Superman?

I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."

My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.

Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?

He was scared to get across.

Why is the elephant headed God the true God?

Because he doesn't exist!

How do you get 50 babies into a car?

You blend them.

I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

Don’t worry if you have a stroke.

You’ll be all right.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic.

My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.

Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.