Short jokes
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
Actually doing homework.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
Billy and Nanny have 2 kids.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.