Short jokes
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Joke
I'm autistic.
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
Verga.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!