Short jokes
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.