Short jokes
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
Tyler
God.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
Fanta Klare Zitrone is cool.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.