Short jokes
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Sub to Pwediepie!
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
"Orla Doyle is fit."
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.