Short jokes

I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

Papyrus: Sans, your jokes are bad!

Sans: I don’t care; I got thick skin.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

Do you like Mirah?

Mirah-t nuts.

The joke is missing. Please provide the joke text.

What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?

What do dogs drink? Pupsi.

What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.

Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?

The "W" in African stands for water.

What is God's favorite planet?

Saturn because it has a ring around it.

I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"

Uranus is a gassy planet.

What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.

I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.

What goes moo? Cow.

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My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

Why don't some people like pennies?

Because it's common cents.