Short jokes
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
No way, Jose!
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Which Pokemon listens to Aha?
Takemeon.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.