Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
Short Jokes
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Why are french fries rude?
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
Mushroom?
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
