Short jokes
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Egg?
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
El, can you grab me that bow?
Yesterday, a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”