Short jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
"COVERBITCH, your worthless."
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
Eggshausted.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Haha, you're gay!
An obese kid farts.
Did you fall from heaven? Or did you fall from the cliff up there?
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Ryan.