Short jokes
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
I'm a turd.
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.