Short jokes
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
You add words = bullshit.
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?
Spam.
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.