Legume jokes

What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

Bean.

What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?

The Creature from the Black Legume.

What did one bean say to the other bean?

How you bean?

What do you call chill legumes?

Hippeas.

A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because they’re used to eating nuts.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.