Short jokes
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
What will Reddit be without the robot logo?
Reddot.
I like peanut butter and honey.
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
Voicemailing.
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.