Short jokes
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!!! 😂
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Fuck y'all, orphan lives matter!
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.