What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Short Jokes
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?
Bunk beds.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
You're a joke!
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
