Short jokes
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
What's a bison's favorite gun?
A PP Bizon.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?
Because he's British.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.